"...Alas the sea is also some kind of allegory for me. A great and immense sadness. The place where all things are eventually lost. We crawled from the sea in the distant past. But it waits for us in the quick and near future. And now I’ve mixed Hades with Poseidon. When you die you become a Bride of Neptune. Neptune is just the Roman name for Poseidon.
But i can’t help thinking of the sea as the immense sadness when i hear this song. For this is one of the songs that i worked up with Mark Linkous. This is a song that he plucked from a pile of small unfinished ideas i kept on cassette tapes. each titled something like “work tape oct 1997″. These were snippets of song about 30 seconds to 3 minutes long. I’d record them onto an old cassette recorder I always kept handy. We were listening in the basement of my studio when we came across this one. ” I like that one, let’s make that a song”. So we did. The only words i had were “brides of neptune cross the waters bring us your sons and bring us your daughter”. We created the music first and then eventually the story came to me. And you can totally tell that this is Mark Linkous playing the bubbling gurgling keys and guitars. It’s his signature sound.
I think of the sea as this immense sadness in this song because March 8th 2010 Mark shot himself in the heart. He had an immense sea of sadness in his soul.
I don’t have that. That darkness. I understand it mind you. But it isn’t me. We are all lost at sea, but it’s not a tragedy. It’s a black comedy. A giant clown cemetery with The Catheads just too damn hungover to dance on our clown graves. While i don’t exactly dance around the seafarers memorial in the video, I talk to the lost and dead seafarers. I send them on a inscrutable voyage with monkeys and pot head mermaids. I send the dead out with a mysterious cargo that they can never get near because it’s “guarded by monkeys” (see post #3 guarded by monkeys). But they aren’t really sad. They are lost but not sad. Understand the distinction?"
Well I've covered most of it -
many of the things that made up 2013.
I've been thinking that maybe I should share
what I learned in 2013.
This is the most difficult post to write.
But here goes ~
I've learned that worry about what is coming makes no difference at all.
You have to carry on living your life and not be paralyzed by fear
you have very little control over any of it.
Regret is a terrible, terrible thing.
If you are weighing the pros and cons of an impending decision
go with the thing that will save you from regret
because once it's over,
And you have to live with the choice you made.
I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.
But also that strength is not a conscious thing
it's not a choice
it's just what you do.
It doesn't make you special or different
it's just the way it is.