all that you can't leave behind

I've been posting pretty regularly these days

but I haven't really been saying a whole lot.

I've been working through a few things over the past few weeks.

I have a tendency to fight with myself

to do one thing

and then chastise myself for choosing that thing over another.

But as I said,

I've been working through things.

I've been asking myself

"What do I want?"

This has been a crippling question for me throughout my life

and I think it's largely because I have often felt

like everything was out of my control

thus rendering my dreams

moot.

But here's where I'm at with this

at least for now.

What I want

is to be content

with where I am

and what I am doing.

Sounds like a grand statement, no?

But what I mean is - 

if I'm enjoying a book on the patio

with lemonade nearby

and the sun warming my legs

then I want my brain to settle in that place

and feel content

knowing that I am where I want to be.

I always feel like I'm racing

but never getting anything done.

I need to know it's ok to stop

(or not)

and that the world will keep on turning

and whatever I don't choose

will probably still be there for me

when I'm ready for it.

you've got mail

everyone loves getting mail

but no one sends anything worth reading anymore.

via

embarrassing bodies

Have you seen Embarrassing Bodies?

It's a show from England where a crew of doctors
encourage people to visit their traveling health clinic
and bring forward their most embarrassing/scary/hideous ailments.

And oh, they do.

And they show it all.
All of the ins and outs, so to speak.
It's quite something.

The thing that amazes me is that the patients go from being completely ashamed of their
rashes / weird growths / fears of STDs, etc.
to bearing it all on (inter)national television!
(Seriously - don't watch this one with the kids.)

Don't get me wrong - I don't think there's anything wrong with it
they are encouraging people to shed their fears and come forward before things get really bad
or to alleviate their worries
and telling them that there is nothing they haven't seen.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
It's all just bodies.
Medicine
and hopefully,
better health.
I just think it's incredible that they describe how embarrassed they are
and then pull it out to have it probed.

Only the British could do this.


You can watch full episodes on YouTube
(if you dare.)

hello dolly!

I've tried a lot of different mascaras in my life

and hands down, Lancome is the consistent winner.

Hypnose is my particular favorite

and it was time for a new tube.

I headed to Sephora 

and while perusing the Lancome section,

I started considering something other than my usual choice.

Doll Lashes

It's not cheap 

($31)

but it's worth it.

It says that it will give you a "wide-eyed look" and I'd say that's mostly true.

It goes on smoothly

and definitely enhanced my less than spectacular lashes.

The only negative is that it has a slight rose scent.

I hate the scents that Lancome uses for their products. Hypnose has the usual somewhat chemical-ly smell that dissolves as soon as it dries

but Doll Lashes smells like roses

and while I love roses,

my eyelashes aren't roses

and after I tried it for the first time

it seemed to follow me around

and I found it quite strong.

I haven't noticed it as much since so perhaps I've gotten used to it now

and I love this mascara and can't imagine switching it out.

I can't say it makes me look like this:

But that's ok.

I generally go for a less 

"plastic" look anyway.

Available all over.

I found something that I didn't know I was looking for

Do you ever find something 

that you didn't even know you were looking for?

That was me on Sunday.

I ran some errands.

The weather was absolutely bizarre.

At one moment,

it was sunny,

then it poured

and then, yes, it was hailing.

Oh and it was freezing to boot.

So I stumbled into Banana Republic,

because they had a bit of a sale

and because the rain had returned.

(I was carrying my umbrella, scarf and wearing sunglasses simultaneously.

Oh Spring.)

I made my way through the store, found a few items to try 

and headed to the fitting rooms.

Nothing really did it for me

until this:

The Lydia silk dress.

It fits me perfectly.

I mean - perfectly.

It wasn't cheap but it was 30% off

it's silk

The colours are bright but not overwhelming.

It will be great for work,

for fun

for whatever.

I love that moment

that moment where you say 

oh my. 

and you know

you just know

that it's coming home with you.

never underestimate the power of soundtrack music

Whispers

Dave Baxter

(I wonder if I could figure out how to play the piano parts?)

divergent

" We believe in ordinary acts of bravery

in the courage that drives one person 

to stand up for another .”

Veronica Roth

It is a beautiful thought.